“Procrastination is Evil, Just Like a Ticking Time-Bomb”
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OMG, I’ve had a BIG problem being consistent with things sometimes that I really needed to be and have fought it tooth and nail to try to make it ingrained in my little noggin and by making it a daily habit. While on the flip side, other things that I really didn’t care a lot about and things that didn’t serve me I was and am still able to do religious, go figure!
I know that we are not born with skill sets and talents, if we are lucky we find them when we are young enough and if we pay attention to them and foster them then they just may turn into something that impacts our life in a positive way. For me, I had a really difficult time raising my son on my own as a single-parent. I wasn’t born knowing how to be a good parent (no one is) but it mattered enough to me to try my best to be what he needed. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not the perfect, model parent but what I am is someone that believes in my son, loves him, protects, and nurtures him so that hopefully one day soon we can look back and say “Wow, how’d we make it out of that time in our lives!” No, really what I hope we get to experience is seeing my son turn into a well-adjusted, productive adult, where he can stand on his own two feet and take care of himself solely in a healthy manner. Then I will know that I’ve done my job!
I am already starting to see my son improve leaps and bounds compared to where he was just a few short years ago. I am trying to teach him things that I missed out on and had to learn on my own after I left home. I feel like I suffered a lot and wasn’t fully prepared to be an adult, that it took my well into my early 30’s to finally feel strong, independent, wise and capable. I hope he doesn’t experience the same fate that I did.
One reason why I improved on how to parent my son and how to be a consistent parent was by taking parenting classes, by reading parenting books and seeking help with mental health professionals when we needed it. All of these items, culminated into me being able to find out what works and what doesn’t.
Without a shadow of a doubt, the one thing that really helped my oppositional defiant son was a reward program. I started it when he was 10 years old and within a few months I had a different kid. We worked the program for a few years and as he figured things out and matured he didn’t need to chart anymore.
I used three things, a daily routine, a daily work tasks worksheet and a positive behavior modification program that only rewards for positive choices, decisions and actions. All three things have helped me have a system in place that makes sense, that I actually use on a daily basis and most importantly it's one that actually works, IF you work it!
I was having a hell of a time with my son for years before and while when we lived in Monterey, California. My now 18 year old son, Nick got diagnosed with ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). I tried everything I could to learn how to help him and myself. I went to parenting classes, I read books, I went to counseling as did my son, I watched videos online, I bought 2 programs. I really tried hard to solve this major problem in our lives and finally I found something that worked.
Originally, I bought a simply ODD behavior modification program that I found online. I did everything that was needed to set it up and used it for a few months. After using it for only a short time and seeing result almost instantly, I decided that I wanted to tweak things it a bit and thus created my own version of a daily behavior modification program. We used my updated version of my "iCare Reward Program" for the next year on a consistent basis and thankfully saw HUGE improvements.
With the great results and success that I saw with my son, a few years later I also decided to use my program for myself when I was trying to create new healthy habits. In case you are curious to learn more about my "iCare Reward Program," click here.
I’ll be the first person to admit that I used to have a MAJOR issue with being consistent in a few areas of my life, like in disciplining my son. I tended to OCD and overdo it on other things, thinking that maybe this would cancel out the bad job that I was doing being consistent with other things that were just as important.
Today, I know that this is an area that I have a weakness, I don’t dwell on it or hate myself for not being better, instead I asked for outside help, I took parenting classes, read books, bought self-help programs and essentially learned everything I could. I’d try out new skills and if they didn’t stick after a while, then I typically would let them fall by the wayside. I know that this isn’t the best approach, but for me, I figure that the stuff that is meant to “stick” will. Also, when dealing with someone else, like my son, I see things as such where I am half of the equation or problem as well as the solution, the other half lays on my son or the other person that I was dealing with. If I put in the work, they should too!
I like to us the calendar that is built into my iPhone. I set a reminder and an alert to help remind me of things that I should work on, like going for a walk or working out once a day, in some way. Another thing that has really helped me is using my " iCare Reward Program." If you aren’t yet familiar with it, I highly recommend it! It has helped me pick up habits that I needed to address, like making sure that I flossed my teeth every day, that I took my medicine at night and many more daily tasks that I wanted to be habits. I know that may seem silly to some, but for me the healthy habits that I feel are important to me are now happening every single day in my life, just like clockwork. And I perfect?! No, but I try to be more consistent now more than ever and it has made a positive impact in my life. I am grateful for the blood, sweat and tears that I had to endure at times, it helps make it all the more worthwhile.
If there are things you want to work on that you wish to be more consistent on, whether they are a strength or a weakness of yours, stop denying that you don't have a problem, acknowledge that you want to be better and actually work on it with programs and/or a system that will help you achieve your goals. Life’s too short to not want to better yourself and you can do it, IF you put in the time and the work!
LESSON Eight: Be Consistent with the Things that Truly Matter to You